Chris is a writer, dad, & husband based in Pittsburgh, PA, USA. He likes perennials, history, sewage systems, garbage collection, cemeteries, and dirt.
Forty Seconds of Water
Chronicles of the Do-It-Yourself Home Improvement Endeavors
IQ Test by Attrition
I took my daughter to the pediatrician. We were sitting in the waiting room with all the other folks and kids. Mostly moms. There are a lot of moms who go to doctors with children. I was basically in a big room full of moms.
Holy Holiday Lies
It’s a question my nine-year-old daughter asked me this morning while I was flossing. She means the Elf on the Shelf, a slice of corporate industry holiday fruit cake so many of us have but nobody really wants.
Ten Hours of Drinking
Brian (his real name) and I sit inside at a cafe table. We are in the Championship Clubhouse of the football stadium. The Pittsburgh…
A Life off the Grid
I am in the shower, standing under the hot rain and waiting for the next great idea. The shower thoughts do not come. I can only think about the washcloth being a Velcro mat for body hair. Is this the best we can do?
Getting Things Done
The Struggle to be Meaningful in Our Time
An Evening With John Kerry
Hearing a Lecture by the Former Secretary of State
The Insidious American Diet
I am at swim practice. My daughter swims. You know, swimming. Suit. Goggles. Water.
My First Novel is Just a Story that I Want to Tell
My years-long journey to tell it 500 words at a time
The Middle Aged Parent’s Fifteen Minutes of Paradise
That Time I Almost Didn’t Buy Something
When Your Characters Won’t Go To Bed
I am sitting on the couch with my wife. Between us is an elf, a twenty something warrior-politician from an agrarian, pre-industrial earth…
Foolproof Strategies For Getting Paid on Medium
*Pulls spectacles up from nose*
We Really Don’t Know Anything
A king led his people in their tiny empire. They lived by the sea and caught fishes and made textiles from materials harvested in nearby…
God Did Not Have a Plan For Me
My Journey To Find Fulfillment When I was younger, I wondered what to do for a career. I was told God had a plan, and I needed to seek it. Once I discovered what it was, I would have found my meaning in life.
Time Travel is a One Way Street.
I made a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I take one last Polaroid of myself in the mirror, set the camera down and flap the paper back and forth to encourage the exposure. I write the numbers on it and tape my picture on the wall. Then I go outside and follow the path.
How to Write a Novel
It was a dark and stormy … Hey BRAD you spilled your greek yogurt on my freaking MacBook Pro, dude! Can you PLEASE just stay on your side…
That Time Aliens Took Over My Children
A weird thing happened to me this morning: Both of my children got out of bed after only asking them one time. Then they pleasantly dressed themselves, ate a full breakfast of exactly what I made for them, and walked into school on time. Early, actually.
The Difficult Life of a Novelist
I tried to look tough. Two guys with their sleeves cut off were walking a super vicious dog across the street at the corner. I steered my vehicle into the turn, windows down. I knew from my days on the streets: sleevelessness always means business.
Putting Kids to Bed and Marriage
Go to sleep, my little child
Go For a Run, They Said. It’s Fun!
Those People Are Liars
For Dads Who Plan on Dying
I just read a Medium post from a man in his thirties who was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, his last recurring blog post was from the summer of 2019 in late July, a few months after his cancer returned.
The Habit of Graduate School
I am two semesters away from my third master’s degree. Earning mastery. Again. A third time. I’m talking about fourteen semesters of school after getting my regular, college undergraduate degree. At this point, graduate school is basically a morning routine. An expensive one.
Discipline by Zen
That thing where you threaten to pull over the car, and then you do? I did that.
Battle for High Earth
The Lightening Armada flew in close to the moon along the dark side to shield it from Terran scanners. After executing the sling around the white orb and closing the final distance to the planet, the crew has been on Alert: Launch Ready Only status.
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