Calling the Kids

I call the kids from the first floor. They don’t respond.

What are they doing up there?

I am as a voice, whispering into the darkness of the world’s largest, deepest, darkest cave.

Cool water drips onto my forehead from a looming stalactite.

Kids!

The car is already running to warm it up – freezing outside. It makes it nice for them to get into a warm and cozy car, so I let it run. My gas mileage is terrible because of this.

“We’re gonna be late!

There’s a birthday party. No, it’s ballet. It’s swimming lessons. Soccer. Church. Camp. Grandma’s. Ugh

Is anybody up there?

If we’re late, there’ll be no [insert fun thing] for you this weekend!

It is the weekend. Half over. They know I am lying. I need the [fun thing] to get them occupied for a half an hour so I can fold laundry/do dishes/go to the bathroom/eat without sharing/feed the cat/sort mail/iron/build the addition to the house/get my car inspected/clean the vomit/empty diaper pails/exercise. So of course they’ll still get to do the [fun thing]. I really need them to do the [fun thing].

Sigh. My book is sitting on the nearby table. I finger the placeholder. Then I am half sitting over the couch arm, flipping through. Now I am fully eaten by the couch and here is where Liver Eating Johnson and forty mountain men are just about to fight off a menacing brace of Crow Indians. Hand to hand combat, arrows whizzing past, tomahawks flying … the musket! It’s empty! Liver Eating Johnson turns to face an enormous chief with a scalping knife high overhead …

Daddy!

Daddy! Come on. We’re gonna be late why are you laying on the couch? Such a lazy bones, daddy!

Using WPEngine’s CDN

It turns out that using the CDN with WPEngine causes a few issues. The first was a problem with also having SSL on. A session with the chat desk resolved it. Next, the development URLs persisted (account-name.wpengine.com instead of website-url.com). Another chat session took care of that – well, two more chat sessions as I found a few instances of this issue. This second item could not be resolved by my clearing the cache, unfortunately.

Then, today, I noticed a third issue. It turns out that the CDN was serving the style sheets and I suppose stored references to that. So when I downloaded a backup for local development, I floundered for half a day wondering why style updates were not taking hold. Was I in the correct directory? Was my local MAMP software running correctly? Was it something with the custom plugin I was coding styles for?

I was inspecting the heck outta the pages, trying to source the pain. Eventually, I checked the Network feature of the Inspector (Firefox) to check how items were loading. Once there, I noticed that style assets were loading in from the CDN, so of course any changes or flushing I did were not being reflected on my local install. Ouch.

After another chat session, I resolved that the solution was:

  1. In WpEngine, turn off the CDN;
  2. Create a new Restore Point;
  3. Download a backup of this new RP;
  4. Create local dev environment with this;
  5. Logo back into WPEngine and turn on the CDN again.

Screen Shot 2015-10-27 at 16.23.01

This is kind of a pain because steps #1, 2, and 3 each require some behind the scenes activity from the folks at WPEngine, which means I click a button and wait around for each step. How long? I dunno. Sometimes a backup is spun up in as little as 10 seconds. But I received a notice that turning off the CDN will take 10 minutes.